Toast hosting Ask Me If I Care.
Species Human
Gender Male
Aliases Toasty the Buzzard
Toastus Burnedouticus
Sir Toastalot
Relatives Uncle Melba
Citizenship Burbank, California
Confidants Father Time & Big Fat Baby
Pepper Mills (girlfriend)
Miss Information
Loud Kiddington
Charity Bazaar
Aka Pella
Lucky Bob
Pule Houser
Susanna Susquahanna
Signature "Ask me if I care."
First appearance "Inventors"
Voiced by Tress MacNeille

Toast is a character featured on Histeria! He is a clueless teenager with a massive sunburn whose (nick?)name comes from the idea that his brain is fried like toast (as his jingle puts it, "his skin's just as fried as his brain"). While he is more intelligent than Lucky Bob, he seems to be the one most oblivious to the world around him.

Toast's lone interests include surfing, music, TV, movies, food, and other such topics. This is shown by way of a talk show he frequently hosts, titled Ask Me If I Care, which is of course an oxymoron. In his role as the host of Ask Me If I Care, he brings historical figures in to describe what made them famous. Toast, of course, doesn't really care about their exploits, and as a result of their failure to captivate his interest, he always launches his guests into space.

Despite being a teenager, Toast, along with Pepper, has been shown to be a student at William Howard Taft Big Around the Middle School along with the rest of the Histeria! Kid Chorus. A presumable explanation for this comes in "Writers of the Purple Prose", where he mentions that "Chit's Notes helped me pass through sixth-grade English... the third time."

Character jingle

Toast, wants a wave that's gnarly,
Toast, wants to ride a Harley,
Toast, wants a life without a care!
His sunburn is the same but he'll never complain,
'Coz his skin is just as fried as his brain.
He'll remain on the beach, that's his domain.
And Toast thinks thinking is nothing but a pain!

Relationships with the other characters

Pepper Mills


Toast gets a hug from Pepper while Loud Kiddington watches.

In fanfiction, Toast is often shown in a romantic relationship with Pepper. Besides the obvious fact that he and Pepper are the only teenage characters on Histeria!, this apparently stems from the fact that, in a song about the works of William Shakespeare, he and Pepper portray Romeo and Juliet. Evidence of the relationship also appears in the "Funny Side of Siege Warfare" sketch in "Big Fat Baby Theater", where Pepper happily hugs Toast and says that he is "the dreamiest". She's also the annoucer in his show, Ask Me If I Care.

Loud Kiddington

Toast and Loud appear to be very good friends.